two.

I know it has only been two months (and counting) , but , i've been through so much with you . In good and in bad times , I would like to take this opportunity to thank you baby, for everything that you've done , and for always being with me and for me (:


Happy 2nd monthsary boyfie ♡

looking forward to the next one and
the next next one and the
next next next one and ...
you get the point . I LOVEY YOU ! :*

I'm not trying to make you feel worse ,

In life , we often need to make choices , big or small it all makes a lot of difference , Sometimes we tend to make the wrong decision which at that time seems to be the only option . But if you do think back and rewind , you could have made that other decision and things would be different , but it doesn't matter anymore because what's done is done . I've just came to realize that , I wasn't your first priority , Seems to me , i've been always put off when it comes to family , like they say blood is thicker than water . So be it , i think i have yet to start getting my own priorities straight , and be stern about it . I'm not blaming you for anything dear , it's just that i've never came across that kind of situation where i'm left all alone by someone so dear to me . That particular senario , could have made us fall apart , it also made me understood you a little more . Nevertheless , i don't blame you for leaving me . Because , deep down inside i know you felt awful too . But things had to be done and choices to be made . You can't satisfy both sides , and i understand that . Sometimes you just have to let go , let go for a while .

eeniee mieeniiee :O

I received a really special text from the boyfriend today , i was somehow touched . Partly glad tho , he finally understood what i was trying to portray all these while .

I love you (:

Copy and paste**

Relationships are delicate. Both people have to be on the same page. Both people have to be at the same point in their lives, wanting the same things. Cant have any doubts or reservations. Do something too early, and you can taint it. Jump in too quick, you can screw things up. Wait too long, it may be too late. There are so many other variables besides who the person is..you have to consider who they are now, who they will be in the future, if you have the potential as a couple to grow together..are you on the same page and will you continue to be?

I looked at old pictures of me and my ex last night. They seem to have been taken ages ago. We have both changed so much since then, we were so young..we have grown so much since then..I don’t even know who he is anymore, and he has no idea who I am. We were compatible as kids just coming out of highschool who were able to share in the journey of the transition to college together..we shared in the joys of college life, but once we started to grow beyond that..well, who knows. That’s when we drifted apart..last semester changed my life; it made me open my eyes to the world, to my life, to my future, to who I am as a person. I am sure he changed too; he has chosen this mindset for himself and I have chosen this one for myself, and here we are at two separate paths, not connected whatsoever. We are past the transition from highschool to college, to the world of college life, what else do we have in common anymore? do we share the same view of the world? Do we view the same idea of how life should be lived?

Dating someone new: he would hold me back..I think we both know it, and that is why this wont work. He will stay here, working, and I keep talking about my big dreams…we will both end up hurt..I will want him to come with me, and he wont be able to, wont want to..he would want me to stay in Pittsburgh, or even assume I would be moving back to Pittsburgh after New York, which maybe isn't the case. I don’t want an anchor right now, I don’t want to be tied down here..I need to go where the wind chooses to blow: make connections with people where I go, make new friends, settle when I feel most comfortable or return to my home in Pittsburgh if nowhere else seems like home enough for me. Only then will I settle, when I find out where I want to be or I become tired and weary and sick of looking because I have experienced enough and lived it well, had fun, had adventures, and am finally ready to settle down to a place of comfort..whether it be somewhere else or meaning a final return to Pittsburgh. I cant promise him anything. I cant promise anyone anything right now. I am scared to jump into a situation that will tie me down. That’s why I was so scared with my ex…I knew he would tie me down to this place, he was preventing me from spreading my wings. He was weighing me down and I felt the only way to remedy this situation was to carry that weight with me..I expected him to come with me on my adventures, but sometimes some weights are just too heavy to carry I suppose. I will have to leave it behind, I will have to leave him and the idea of him behind. And I cant expect to meet anyone within the next year that could possibly understand this..that could possibly comprehend that I am a rolling stone and I intend to be a rolling stone and I like it that way, I want my life that way. My ex was also preventing me from living my situation now, he was preventing me from living out this time in my life fully, with no reserves..I have lived and had so many experiences at THIS pont in my life, within the last two years, my college years, that I wouldn’t have been able to have had I stayed with him..I wouldn’t have wanted to be tied down, I didn’t want it then and I realize now it was a wise decision for me..I cant have a relationship right now, I am nowhere near ready to settle, to get married, I wont be until I know the PLACE I am happy at, and only then will I be able to plant roots. I cant do it now.

It’s a shame, I am a walking contradiction…I want to be loved, I want someone to love and appreciate me, but how can you love a creature as fleeting as I am..I move, my character changes, I view the world differently each day..I want love, a relationship, comfort and yet I want to carry that comfort with me from place to place everywhere I go and it is not possible and I need to realize that, you can only choose one situation at a time. If I choose to settle with comfort of love before I am ready to, I will undoubtedly end up miserable later in my life, yearning for something more. If I choose to explore before I settle, I will feel accomplished and satisfied that I lived my life to the fullest and now it is time to make a family of my own, to raise other people, children to grow up and enjoy their lives as well. But only when I am finally ready to.

(:

Walking marathon (: - 1kg liao me . MUAHAHAHA

Dalring , this is dedicated for your eyes only . HAHAH :D

Omfg , just came back from a really REALLY long day . hahahha had tons of fun today , Practically walked miles . LOL , Went to parkson and i think i tried on more than 10 outfits today . Including footwear . LOLS , tired on boots with 4 or 5 inched heels :O omfg the feeling damn shuang lo .. Friggin tall HAHAH wtf == walked in it a while only and my feet hurts like siao already . But the urge to buy it is like so strong ! Haix still considering . lalalala , after walking around TOWN we decided to go for ice ice ice . And when we got there it's like CLOSED . Ma gu , beh song o == so went home instead , reached home not up to 10 mins , went out again for dinner . HAHAH , beh song bo eat dao ice . So went to ice city , then hor . CLOSED also . !#@%$#@^ more du lan . End up drinking ice blended valila coffee frapocinno/fropojino? HAHAH omfg i don't know how to spell ==ughh nemind , ignore . Had dinner at sugar bun and walked around somemore , camwhored , and before going home , we went to the funfair thingy ? idk what's that called == haix , shouldn't have played lo hor , once you kena liao hor ,then will get ADDICTED , one after another and another and another . The worse part is the women there hor . Keep persuading us to keep going . HA HA HA HA . Yin ming and i both keep saying last one last one then we go . But in the end , we got what we wanted then we just leave . Play till almost no money to pay for the basement ticket thingy . HAHAHA funny dao .I think this summarize it all .
Time for pictures !

LOOK LIKE BOXERS HAA ? D:

Neh this women, but she's quite nice also la . HAHA she gave me one free throw woots :O

Sad dao when people take my pic for me

Zi pai jiu so ham HAHAH !

That women took this for us , she's evil i tell you ! Keep asking you to play play play play ! ==

Dont know why she look sad ==

And i look so ham LOL !

She so chio in that dress can :O

Almost bought this HAHAHA

cj7 on my head == LOL

GIRAFFE ! D:

Lame .

Woots , woke up early this morning and headed to curtin cause there's a briefing about the exam thingy on monday and for the next two weeks, Woohooo im gonna be one of the exam supervisor thingy . Idk what they call it . Will start on monday . Wheeee . Hopefully can be in the same hall as dalring :O after that went over nice2five to have lunch with my future 'colleague' HAHAHA colleagues ==" I guess nothing much happen today , oh yaa , went to church with dalring just now , and had Kfck's burger , it was alright , not that nice compared to the RM3 one . lols , after that we went for ice cream at desserts , Pfft , so full now . P/s the pic above is especially dedicated to dalring melo . DROOL women drool :O

Random

So many failed shots today , argh

Oh happy dayyy (:

Woots , went out with mommy , cousin and my little niece and boyfie :O both of us we're practically nannies for the day . Went to parkson and headed straight to popular , stayed there for quite a while . Had a fun time laughing my ass off ,thanks to little emilyn , she's just so amusing , Lols ,After that went to walk around with boyfie while mommy and the rest were still in popular , boyfie and lunch and i had a really weird shaped ice cream == made it so difficult to eat. so small somemore . Pfft , walked around a while longer and went to buy more blings . Someone said that he wants to re bling his phone == idk whyy . But anyway bought gold blingys as well . Went to look for mommy at mcD's . Friggin long queue lo .. I had lunch at some place else , After lunch we went to look at jewelries . Secretly , i think boyfie enjoyed the most HAHAHA , anyway , pics below to end my short update .
Toodles` (L)

Oh btw, emilyn is friggin cute ! :O
And thanks bii , for tagging along w a sort-of family outing (:

I kinda like the big bow ==

I like this pic :O

Nice to finally get it out of my chest .

It's not even eight yet and i'm already here blogging , mommy's gonna be shock when she comes home and find me awake . Hahahah , there's just something i've got to write it all out , i couldn't hold it in my heart anymore , i don't know why , people tend to throw tantrum at me . It's as though i'm so nice to bully == Pfft , The more i think about it , the more i get pissed off , why can't you just hold your temper . I've just came to realize that this is a big issue of yours i've only realize that a while ago and i'm thinking how in the world i'm suppose to cope with that . As you know , i'm not so much of a saint myself . I am hot tempered , too . gosh , please please please control your temper , i've been tolerating enough ,
Don't push me to my limits please .



Things will be better as today goes by , i believe (:

rojaks

I've just came to realize that twitter is really a bore == i can't believe that i was so into it before . Pfft , surprisingly , my blogging mojo is back . But i can't think about anything to blog about , it's just so sad .. Hmmm , i just viewed my old blog . OMFG , i can't believe i actually blog like that . And the things i blog about , it's just pure lame-nesss . Gosh , HAHAHAH i'm laughing my butt off . Finally deleted it already , nothing left for me there . And by viewing my past post and everything , i've realized that i've grown so much . HAHAH , Okay enough liao . Will update again soon . wtf \m/







Oh yaaa , here's the pic that i promised in my past post ,

Important people ! :D

I just realize that i don't have a proper solo pic of him == pfft , anyhoo , That guy there , next to me , happen to be my my Mr.Right :D not right as in right right . You get it ? Aahhh nemind , He's my man :O and he's an awesome individual , He's my best friend whom i can share anything with . And the best part of it is that he listens , He's the best thing that has ever happen to me . He taught me a few things that i didn't know about myself . Being with him is like paradise , no matter where the venue is , it just felt nice . Like really nice :O I'd really like to say more but i don't think i should :P
I love you baby ,
♡

This post is just something random , and these people whom im going to mention later plays a really big role in my life , w/out them , I think my life is incomplete, HA HA HA , I shall proceed (:

The guy in the pic happens to be my brother , i couldn't find any recent picture , == oh well , it's still him anyway , but a year younger :O He take cares of me and looks out for me a lot , though we have been through difficult times but we're still tight :D Actually , im kinda surprised to where we are today , i mean the relationship between us , never did i expect us to be this close , we share secrets and he takes me to the movies , hang out with me , keep me company at terrible situations and from all the times we spent together , (despite the age gap :O) i've came to realize that i've known him so much better , and he's a great person . woohooo i love my big brother :D

HO HO HO , that pretty lady in yellow is my Dalring , no need tell you name lah , haiya , no need kepo . :P She on the other hand , is a loyal friend , to be honest , we didn't really know much about each other till last year , if i'm not mistaken . We've known each other since we're in primary school i think , we're from the same church , we never really communicate until one day , it so happens that we met in maple . Maple is like an online game or sth , IF YOU DONT KNOW :O From then on , our friendship grew , and now we're best friends , She knows a lot of my personal life thingys , and she has also always , always been there for me . I really love hanging out with her , cause , she loves to laugh at my lame jokes. HAHAH and she's just one jolly person and the most important thing is that we can click with each other really well (: i think this is enough , later when she reads this she can't stop crying :O

That happy sakai in the pic is , one of my musketeer member , :D i shan't reveal any names in this post , im just lazy D: He happens to be a very good friend of mine too (: we've only known each other for mayb 12 months , yet , we can talk about anything and anywhere , he's a really good listener and a really good bodyguard too ! I've no regrets knowing him . He's also a jovial person . Which also means that he's just like me . muahahahah those happy lucky type y`know ? We've also grown to trust each other over the year , and we tend to share our problems with each other , just like good mates .

That faceless guy is my best buddy (: i can't find any pics of him . Pfft , he's just too shy . LOL it doesn't matter . He's not like that about our friendship . TEEHEE . We've been tight for like 4 or 5 years now , yeap . That's a longgg time . I can't say that our relation was perfect , yes we do have some up's and down's too . But that's what friends do what . We don't agree to some of the things but in the end we're fine . He knows a lot about me . And when i'm emo he'll take me out for ice-cream . He knows that ice cream makes me feel better . but, that was before he's taken . :P He's the first person to ever see me shed a tear . And fyi , im not a big fan of tear-ing up in front of people . :O He always lend me his shoulder when i'm utterly down to the core . Yeap , he's a great buddy x)

Yes , i know this picture is funny , but he's also not that type of vain person , so i've to grab this pic from somewhere . SHHH . He's also a very good listener . He listen to my every rants ( i think laa , hope he's not pretending to listen only ) anyway , He's the person whom i rang right away after i've recieved a devastating news and talk on the phone till i end up crying and he was right there to comfort me . Since then he's my ear . LOL my ear == blahh . He's a very funny person . Always puts a smile on my face everytime i talk to him .

Ahem , this suai ge 's pic is i heng heng take one . He's also camera shy but he's learning how to be not-so-camera shy anymore . LOL He's my classmate of two years , And we definitely went through SO MUCH . Just to keep this friendship alive and going . There's so much i would like to say about him . But i don't think i'll be able to write it all down here . hahahah . He's one of those person who always takes me out for a joy ride on my gloomy days , crap for hours and laughing our asses off together . I've learn so much about life from him . He has thought me a lot , and he's a really strong individual despite the things he went through . He's also a funny guy , but he's sometimes really shy . And he's kinda weird sometimes. HAHAHA , but over all he's a special friend . A brother . ( ahem don't cry after reading this ohh . LOL )

She's my childhood friend . Ever since i could remember , we joined the church choir together . And that's how we got to know each other . She's cute , funny , nice , and BLUR most of the time . == i can't imagine if she's tipsy . Anyway , we've spend most of our lives together although we didn't go to the same school , but we still contact each other . She's pretty easy to get along with , easy to talk to . I remember the times we used to spend together, catching tadpoles , played skipping rope , talk about boys and stuff like that . She's my dear (:

She's my late night partner . HAHAH , We usually go our for supper , late night movies , and stuff like that . And we do talk about our private problems together , And we usually , get out of the house to forget about those crappy stuff and have a blast with each other . She's a really open minded person , but she doesn't just open up to anyone . (you know what that means right ? im special woowoo !) And i really like her , and i like hanging out with her :D




To everyone that i've mention , Thank you so much from coming in to my life and not leaving it . I love you guys to bits ! (L) muacks !


That would be my closure for today's post , (: